


the success of a failed dye job

by Rei_Rei (anti60ne)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 02:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/960533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anti60ne/pseuds/Rei_Rei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongin (thinks he) looks like tweety and it's all Luhan's fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the success of a failed dye job

**pairing:** jongin/luhan  
 **genre:** crack  
 **word count:** 1933  
 **summary:** jongin (thinks he) looks like tweety and it's all luhan's fault.

  
"Oh my god, Jongin has an appointment today!!!!!!"

Yixing is oblivious to Luhan squealing like a little schoolgirl behind him as he continues sorting the shampoo bottles by alphabetical order. Or was it supposed to be by size? Oh well, too late.

"Yixing! Psssttt," Luhan hisses at the copper-haired stylist, who sighs and finally rolls his head around.

"What."

"Jongin is coming in an hour!!" Luhan's eyes are literally sparkling, his hands clutching the appointment book dearly to his chest as if it's a bar of pure gold.

"Yes, I'm aware of that," Yixing lazily responds as he turns his back to the blond kid who's wearing an idiotic smile at no one in particular.

"You're going to let me do him, right?"

A silence sets in between the two as Yixing allows Luhan to fully register his Freudian slip.

"THAT IS SO NOT WHAT I MEANT OH MY GOD ZHANG YIXING DO NOT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT"

Yixing looks blankly at the flustered mass of flailing arms and flushed face before him. He turns on his heels and walks out of the backroom.

 

 

⋆⋆⋆

 

Luhan has a little trouble tearing his eyes away from the Level 220 of Candy Crush on his phone when the wind chimes jingle.

"Ahem." Someone clears his throat as he perches his arms on the reception counter, watching an oblivious Luhan swiping his index finger furiously on the screen. "Uh, I have an appointment at 3?"

"Yeah just a–HOLY MOTHER OF HOGWARTS" Luhan screams and drops his jaw to the floor as he peers up at the source of the voice, and several thoughts immediately run across his head.

_Holy shit Kim Jongin is standing before my eyes in the flesh_  
 _Holy shit he's talking to me_  
 _Holy shit I just blurted out holy mother of hogwarts he must think I'm socially inept_  
 _Holy shit_

"I'm sorry?" Jongin blinks, slightly bewildered.

"I–I mean," Luhan stammers, his face turning a visible shade of pink. "Sorry, um, you were saying?" Luhan's best plan (and only plan) at all times is: when in doubt, play dumb.

"I was saying," Jongin watches the blond in amusement. "I have an appointment at 3. With what's-his-face," he turns his eyes upward as he strains to remember, and Luhan stares and thinks, _How can someone look so cute when they're just moving their eyeballs life is unfair._

"That what's-his-face is Yixing."

The hairstylist strolls forward with a grin, extending his right hand to the singer.

"Ah, yes," Jongin chuckles in embarrassment as he takes Yixing's hand, at which Luhan is glowering because Yixing gets to touch Jongin and he shouldn't. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine, my name is a pain to pronounce and remember anyway," Yixing smiles warmly as he brandishes a gown and drapes it over Jongin's shoulders. He tosses an offhanded glance at Luhan and sticks out his tongue briefly when Jongin isn't looking. Luhan's glare is about to burn holes into the styist's skull.

"We'll give you a wash first," Yixing takes Jongin by the elbow and guides him toward the backroom. "Luhan," he turns and instructs the blond nonchalantly. "He's all yours."

Luhan swears he sees Yixing's lips curve into an obnoxious smirk before he turns around and saunters off. _God, I really hate him sometimes._

"Luhan? Why are you still standing there? Get on it."

Luhan pulls a disgruntled face at Yixing before he pads into the backroom. Jongin is already supine on the black leather chair. Luhan gulps unconsciously as he positions himself behind the basin.

"Uhm." Luhan begins, driven by an unknown need to speak. "I'm going to wash your hair now." Luhan realizes what he just said was extremely pointless and downright stupid. He mentally kicks himself in the shin. _No I'm just going to stand here and marvel at your lustrous hair in red champagne which perfectly suits you by the way and maybe mentally draw a tiara over it WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU LUHAN._

But to Luhan's surprise, Jongin simply chuckles, his eyes turning upward in an attempt to see Luhan's face (but of course, he can't because his eyes are not the size of a monkey's). "Okay," Jongin breaks into a grin.

Luhan dies a little inside. Then he mentally slaps himself a couple times to recover his mental capacity and do what he's supposed to do. He turns on the water and adjusts the temperature before streaming it over Jongin's hair. He asks if the temperature feels okay and Jongin hums in content. As Luhan lathers the shampoo between his palms, he feels more collected and less dysfunctional, and he basks in the delusion that he is spending private quality time with Jongin (in a fetish-esque sense, perhaps, but that isn't the point) by washing his hair.

"Uh, you can go a little harder, you know."

Luhan freezes, pausing the supposed scalp massage (which is more like barely pressing with his fingertips). He swaps unwanted thoughts away ( _what is up with all the sexual innuendoes today?!_ ) before clearing his throat a little too loudly.

"O–okay."

After about 15 minutes, which feels more like an eternity of heaven and hell combined, Luhan finally finishes washing Jongin's hair and feels like he's about to collapse from emotion overload. He cautiously wraps a towel around Jongin's head and awkwardly announces the completion of his task with a "I'm done washing your hair" before Yixing miraculously emerges out of nowhere and saves Luhan from further embarassment.

Yixing puts a hand on Jongin's back (and effectively gaining another menacing gaze from Luhan) and guides him toward one of the hairstyling stations. Jongin explains to Yixing that he would like a coloring ("a light color but none of the neon shades, please") and a trim ("no more than half an inch"). Yixing nods as he expertly flips the scissors in his hand, his mind milling about how to proceed. He pulls a palette book off the shelves and flips to the blond tab. He shows it to Jongin, who points at the light ash blond as his choice.

As Yixing instructs an assistant to start the bleaching, Luhan creeps up behind the stylist.

"I want to help."

"Jesus," Yixing flinches and almost releases an unprofessional yelp. "What is it this time?"

"I want to help," Luhan reiterates, but in a much whinier voice. "Can't I do something?"

"You can go blowdry the cat lady's hair," Yixing juts his chin in the direction of a middle-aged woman at the station in the corner. Luhan crinkles his nose at the matted hair on the woman's head.

"Noo I mean for Jongin, DUH."

Yixing rolls his eyes at the unbelievable immaturity of his employee, who desperately musters a pout along with puppy eyes. Yixing shudders when Luhan begins batting his eyelashes. He gives up.

"Fine," Yixing heaves a defeated sigh. "Go make the dye."

Luhan's face breaks into an over-enthusiastic grin before he skips away happily.

But just a little too happy, that when he picks the yellow shade from the array of bottles displayed on the shelves, he's humming _Don't Go_ to himself instead of reading the bottle, and that when he begins mixing the dye, he loses track of how much he's added, and he's at the point of everything-is-beautiful-and-nothing-hurts that he just decides, rather spontaneously, to add more. After he's done, Luhan also fails, in his state of reverie, to notice that the dye is of a shade yellower than it's supposed to be.

And then when Yixing leaves for an impromptu trip to a branch store, Luhan decides that he is competent enough to apply the dye himself (after all, he's done this a countless number of times, there's no way he'll mess up).

Jongin, however, grows more and more worried the longer the dye sets in, rendering the true color more visible.

"Um..." Jongin calls to Luhan hesitantly when the latter brushes on another slab of the dye. "Isn't this a bit... too yellow?"

Luhan pauses for a beat as he examines Jongin's hair in the mirror, but fails royally when he is distracted by Jongin's face.

"No I think it's fine."

When Yixing returns two hours later, he couldn't have picked a better time, as he happens to witness the unveiling of Jongin's new dye job.

"........."

Jongin gawks at the mirror, or more specifically, his newly bright _yellow_ hair. He shuffles close to the mirror and pulls a strand of his hair up front, studying it with eyes widened in horror.

Meanwhile, Luhan blinks furiously and genuinely believes this is all just a dream.

"What," Jongin croaks. He sounds like he's about to cry. "The Fuck. Is. This." _I look like fucking Tweety minus the big head jesus christ_ , Jongin groans inwardly, his face crumpling in despair.

Luhan's face is completely ashen. So is Yixing's.

Yixing breaks into a stride and is about to console Jongin with an offer of re-coloring at no cost when Luhan bursts into tears.

"I'm so, so sorry!! I swear I didn't do it on purpose," (Yixing fumes as he releases a miserable sigh, _no I would hope not,_ he thinks.) "I just got too distracted because I'm like in love with you and I don't know I guess I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing oh my god I am an idiot I know I'm just really terribly sorry I'll do anything to fix it please forgive me," Luhan pleads in between snot-filled sobs.

Jongin blinks a few times, slightly baffled by what he just heard (if he heard right), but his tensed face begins to soften. He looks between a terrified-for-his-business Yixing and a groveling-for-his-life Luhan. Yixing swears his eyes must be playing tricks on him when he sees a playful smirk appearing on Jongin's face.

"You'll do anything to fix it, you said?" Jongin asks casually, crossing his arms over his chest.

Luhan looks up and nods with tear-brimmed eyes, and Jongin feels a little guilty even though the blond _did_ fuck up brilliantly.

"Huh." Jongin cocks his head to one side in deep thought. "Give me your number then," he fishes out his cell phone and hands it to Luhan, who has gone into a speechless state of shock.

"Look," Yixing steps forward and nudges Jongin's extended arm away with an apologetic smile. "I really don't think this is necessary. He's actually one of our newer staff and he's still learning," (Luhan frowns at Yixing's fib.) "We'll recolor it at no cost whatsoever and I'll personally–"

"Oh, no that's not what I meant," Jongin stops Yixing in the stylist's desperate attempt at avoiding a lawsuit or personal vendetta of some sort (who knows, maybe Kim Jongin is evil enough to release Luhan's information to his raged fangirls). "I just wanted his number. For myself," Jongin adds as he locks eyes with Luhan, who suddenly has trouble breathing and is about to erupt into wheezes.

"Oh." Yixing frowns in confusion, but delivers Jongin's phone to Luhan anyway.

Luhan has to grip the device with two shaking hands in order to not drop it (and thereby losing whatever chance he's just been bestowed). But he gives up trying to punch in the digits because his fingers don't feel like his own and he's overwhelmed by the urge to find a brown paper bag and inhale from it.

As Luhan weakly hands the device to Yixing, who reluctantly complies, Jongin returns to the mirror and re-examines his hair, tousling it about at the top.

"I guess it's not _that_ bad."

 

 

A/N:  
inspired by [this](http://ww2.sinaimg.cn/mw1024/456149dfjw1e6mf419cvkj20qg0j6dje.jpg)  
this was a feeble attempt of self-therapy  
i still think jongin's hair looks terrible ~_~  



End file.
